Is this guy a flake?

You probably know someone like my friend Mort.

Mort’s excitement about life is contagious. Spend even a few minutes with him and you can’t help but have a better attitude. For Mort, everything is coming up roses; rose with no thorns.

And it’s not that he’s an empty-headed nincompoop who doesn’t know any better. Mort has a good head for business. I’ve known him for a dozen or so years. He’s been successful at just about every business venture he’s tried.

He’s tried a lot of them, which sometimes bothers him.

Mort invited me for coffee recently to share his enthusiasm for a new business plan he’s working on. It sounds like a winner and I think it will be, but Mort expressed some personal concerns about what others might label as a “lack of commitment.”

I keep leaving perfectly good jobs, to start something from scratch or help someone else get unstuck,” he shared.

Question?
Why should you opt for being miserable?.
This “no commitment” thing was clearly bugging him, so I suggested we explore some areas where he’s demonstrated amazing longevity. His 20-year marriage is great. He is a fantastic dad. And, he’s extremely committed to his faith and volunteer work. As we chatted about all this, I began to see a light blub glowing above Mort’s head.

Maybe my special strength is the ability to get things started,” he smiled. “I’m not the guy who’ll take you to the finish line, but if you need a good starting plan, I’m the one you want.

Mort was beaming. Even more than usual.

Is this guy a flake?

It’s easy to look at those who take different paths and label them. Mort was bothered because, yet again, he is leaving a good gig to start something new. Conventional wisdom has drilled into us that you play around with start-ups for a while, but eventually you settle down and finish a job. But if starting things gives you energy and the thought of sticking around for the long-haul sounds like a prison sentence, why should you opt for being miserable?

Mort’s not a flake. I know this because flakes come in boxes and Mort is definitely not someone you can put in a box.

Strengths Chat - Sherrie Palm

Seybert, strengths, podcast, performanceMy guest this week on Strengths Chat is Sherrie Palm, Founder and President of APOPS, the Association for Pelvic Organ Prolapse Support, Inc. in Wisconsin.

APOPS foiunder Sherrie Palm Sherrie plays a number of roles – administrative, fund-raising, legislative – but she’s driven by the one-on-one work she gets to have with women who are experiencing this “silent” condition.

Strengths Chat is a weekly program featuring interviews with people who are good at what they do, and seem to love doing it.

Do you love what you do? Do you play to your strengths? Would you like to share your story on Strengths Chat? Drop me an email.

What if you used only your strengths?

This is a guest post written by Michele Buc – a long-time friend, fellow Mac user and Strengths advocate. Michele teaches college-level communication courses in Nashville. She’s also the only person I know who has taught college courses on a US Navy aircraft carrier.

Michele sent me the following in an email and I asked for her permission to use it as a blog post. Other than scrubbing out names for privacy, this is what she wrote:

Hey Jim!

Michele Buc on USS Ronald ReaganI was thinking the other day about something that happened to me that is actually a study in strengths.  Since we think of our strengths in the workplace, and we think about “choosing” to use them or focus on them more, I wondered what it would be like if we were only allowed to use our strengths?  In essence, forced to use them and nothing else?

What if we were confronted with a situation that forced us to only use your strengths?  Would that help us see what they were?

Here’s what happened to me, and it has provided an allegory to me for strengths since then:

In 2007, I was traveling by car with friends.

As I drove in the rural parts of East TN, the road which descended from the mountains was I-81. Because there were no towns and few exits at this stretch of interstate, we all had our cruise controls set at 75-80mph.  It was a sunny day, so all the cars were cruising along nicely.

Suddenly, about a football field-length ahead of me, I saw a car flipping in the air.  It flipped and rolled several times. I’d never seen anything like it in real life – only in the movies.  I was so shocked by the sight that I then had to slam over to the side of the road and hit the brakes in order to stop where the car crash ended.

Once we ground to a stop, my friend and I jumped out and ran frantically to the overturned car.  The first thing I saw was a young girl’s body sprawled on the ground.

I was thankful to see she wasn’t crushed inside her car.  She lay on her belly, and was moving a bit.  Immediately, I remembered that medical personnel have always warned us to not move a crash victim, in case there is a spine injury.  I saw her move her hand, so I thought it was  a blessing that she was alive.

The rest of the time ran in slow motion.  Other motorists stopping, searching for other victims, finding the purse and cell phone of the victim…..  and the arrival of off-duty first-responders. As we were ushered aside by the professionals, I actually breathed a sigh of relief.  All went well, and this girl wasn’t dead.

Two days later, I found out differently.

My friend sent me a link to the small town newspaper nearest the crash.  Our wreck was front page news for that small paper, and the victim had died in the hospital, after her life flight trip.

I raged and sank into despair.  “God, why did you put me there first, when I clearly was not a medical professional?”  “Was I supposed to move her, but didn’t?”  I had the most helpless feeling, knowing there was not one thing I could have done differently, as I had no medical training.

I cried, raged, and yelled at God.  Why would He be so cruel as to allow me to have hope, only to find out that there had never been any hope?  And I must have been the last person that needed to be at that crash scene.  Why did God put me there when He knew  I couldn’t do anything useful?

I read the newspaper story over and over.  At the end of the story, the name of the funeral home was listed, as well as their web address.  So, I clicked there to learn more info.  At the side of the funeral home web page, there was a link for an “online guest book.” Suddenly, I heard God say, “Now, use YOUR strength.”

One of my Strengths is “Input.” For a living, I report information, provide analysis, and describe things to other people.   All at once, I realized that I needed to do that now, for the parents of the girl.  I began writing: “To the family of Jane Doe, I was one of the first motorists to stop at your daughter’s crash on Tuesday…..”  I gave the story, let them know how hard everyone worked, and signed my name on the digital guest book.

Less than a week later, the girl’s mother tracked me down, and called me at home.   “This is Jane Doe’s mom…” she said.

I’m glad you called,” I said.

It was an hour-long conversation.  The grieving mother wanted to know every last detail.  What was her daughter wearing, did she seem in pain?  I made sure to tell her that her daughter was not alone on the side of the road.  People stopped right away and everyone had worked together to comfort her daughter and help the crisis.  She thanked me, and we said goodbye.

I’m not a medical professional.  That’s not my strength, talent, skill, or education.  But I do work with words everyday. I gather and provide information to other people – students, clients, co-workers, bosses.  I do that verbally and in written form.  That is my strength.  God knew that. And he put me in a situation to use my Input strength.

And I am forever grateful.

Michele Buc
Instructor, Consultant
Communications
Nashville State Community College

Creativity defined

Creative

Few words carry as much power to affect your self-image as does creative.

As a descriptive label, it can be used to praise:

She is one of the most creative people I know.”

It can also be used to criticize or rebuff:

He’s so creative that he never gets anything done.”

An advertising agency in San Francisco once occupied three floors of a building, one of which was strictly off-limits to anyone but members of the “creative team.” I knew a CPA in the 1970s whose firm was named Creative Accounting.

In just about every instance, the word creative–and its derivatives–is used to separate and draw distinctions. Something or someone is deemed creative, or they aren’t. Most people who are tagged as creative are proud of the label, despite the occasional jab they get when their ideas are criticized for being “too” creative. Conversely, folks who have repeatedly been told they lack creativity will occasionally have feelings of envy or frustration when their own, perfectly good solutions, are dismissed as being  “not creative enough.”

This short video from tech solutions company WACOM suggests that everyone is creative. The line that jumped at at me in the video is: “Creativity is the way your heart translates what your mind thinks.”

No matter what you’ve been told, you are creative. From the moment you roll out of bed each morning, you are doing something that’s never been done before. Each step you take is–until that very moment–a step you’ve never taken. The things you do–based on the thoughts and feelings you have–are the images you are painting on the canvas of your life.

The manifestation of your creativity may not hang in a gallery, play on the radio or be hailed in the latest business journals but that doesn’t detract from or lessen its value. Creativity may not be the role your circle of influence needs the most from you, but you are still creating YOUR masterpiece, one minute at a time.

What will you create, today?

 

Clip Your Wings and Soar

You are going to be bombarded for the next few days with talk about resolutions. I guess it makes sense to use the turning of a calendar year as a benchmark for resolving to change, but the universal practice of vowing to alter your behavior does little more than set you up for the equally universal feeling of failure that follows in a week or two when you start crafting excuses for why you aren’t sticking with your resolve.

Sticking to a resolution made on January 1st quite often requires you to do things that are counter to your nature; to swim upstream against your native instincts. That’s the problem with resolutions: they generally demand that you to do less of what you love, or more of what you loathe.

You will have far greater success in 2012 if you focus on doing more of what you love and less of what you don’t.

Simple enough, right?

Hardly.

In fact, focusing on your native genius is difficult because it comes so easily. [Read it again]

Allow me to illustrate my point with a personal story:

I was asked this past year to write a four-scene drama to accompany the choral pieces sung by a church choir during their annual Christmas concert. The script was intended to share a subtle message about the simplicity of the original Christmas story. The assignment energized me. Communicating thoughtful ideas through the written word is an activity that makes me feel strong.

George Utley

Tom Poston

One of the characters in the script was a well-meaning but silly man modeled after Tom Poston’s character George Utley on the Newhart television series. Everyone connected with the concert agreed that the part had my name “written on it.” Making people laugh is something I enjoy and being on stage charges my batteries, so I took the role. But, as the performance drew closer I became increasingly anxious, to the point where I considered asking someone else to take my place.

You see, I’m very comfortable being on stage by myself because I have the freedom to deviate from my prepared notes. Interacting with the audience, ad libbing and taking parenthetical side-trips are the norm for me when I’m “on.” But, acting in an ensemble requires me to memorize and stick with the lines, as they’re written. When you are sharing the stage with others, you are not allowed to ”wing it.”

The ah-hah moment came somewhere between dress rehearsal and the first performance. In one of a great many conversations with myself, I realized that I could either rely on my natural talent to merely get me through the night – or – I could intensify my focus and turn a native ability into a strength. I chose the latter, and the results taught me a valuable lesson.

About 15 minutes before my first entrance, I secluded myself backstage and mentally rehearsed my lines, word-for-word, meticulously. I visualized the audience, the stage, the lights, the other actors. I imagined George Utley and his goofy grin. When my cue came, I was hyper-focused on playing the part to the fullest–the exact opposite of winging it.

Focusing on your native genius is difficult because it comes so easily.
When you take your strengths for granted, you miss opportunities for greatness.

You already have what it takes to make 2012 a great year.

Instead of doing less of what you love and more of what you loathe, resolve this year to get a clear picture of your native genius and concentrate on taking it to the limit.

Do this:

  1. On a note pad, write down three specific situations from the past month where you did something that left you feeling energized. Activities you really loved doing.
  2. Talk about your examples (with yourself or in a small group) and come up with a verb and a short phrase describing the activity.  “I felt strong . . . . .”
  3. Brainstorm ways you can fine-tune these natural talents and intentionaly use them to your advantage.

Michelangelo said about sculpting, ”Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

YOU have the masterpiece waiting inside.

Find it, and make 2012 your best year ever.

Free eBook

Here’s your FREE eBook

No strings attached.

No forms to fill out.

No box-tops to collect.

No stems & seeds that . . . . oops, wrong century.

I started writing a monthly column in November 2001. The first two were just emails to about 50 friends but when those folks started forwarding it to their friends and those friends called with consulting gigs, I figured it might be a good idea to write one every month.

I’ve managed to send one every month (with the exception of maybe 5-6 times) over the last ten years and this eBook is collection of my favorites. Seems like there should be more than 21 favorites in 10 years.

What’s the catch?

There isn’t one. It’s totally free. Just click the image of the cover and download the ePub file. You’ll be able to read it on just about any device that isn’t a Kindle®. Amazon won’t let me give it away and formatting for the Kindle is–frankly–a pain in the rear. (See link below for tips on importing to your preferred device).

Here’s all I ask:

  • Please don’t copy the content and pass it off as your own. I know that’s supposed to represent flattery, but it’s really stealing.

  • Please tell your friends about it and invite them to get a copy for themselves.

  • Consider subscribing to my mailing list to receive subsequent issues via email.

  • Write to me, comment here, or post on Facebook if you like to dialog about what you read.

If you’re wondering how to import the ePub file into your particular brand of reader, this guide from ePub.org is very helpful.

 

StrengthsChat - Marlene Caroselli

Seybert, strengths, podcast, performanceMy guest this week on Strengths Chat is Dr. Marlene Caroselli, Founder and Director of the Center for Professional Development in Rochester, NY.

Dr. CaroselliDr. Caroselli has an engaging personality and I had a blast interviewing her about the value of finding and focusing on activities that make you feel strong. She’s written 60+ books and has some great stories to tell.

Strengths Chat is a weekly program featuring interviews with people who are good at what they do, and seem to love doing it.

Do you love what you do? Do you play to your strengths? Would you like to share your story on Strengths Chat? Drop me an email.

Lynn Sudlow - StrengthsChat

Seybert, strengths, podcast, performanceMy guest this week on Strengths Chat is Lynn Sudlow, a personal services specialist from New Hampshire.

Lynn is passionate about a very unique service – people buy EXTRA TIME from her business The Complete Errand.

Strengths Chat is a weekly program featuring interviews with people who are good at what they do, and seem to love doing it.

Do you love what you do? Do you play to your strengths? Would you like to share your story on Strengths Chat? Drop me an email.

Mickey Mikeworth

Seybert, strengths, podcast, performanceMy guest this week on Strengths Chat is Mickey Mikeworth, Founder of RichChicks.org and a financial planner from Minneapolis.

Mickey’s approach to wealth management is refreshingly different and I am excited to introduce you to her.

Strengths Chat is a weekly program featuring interviews with people who are good at what they do, and seem to love doing it.

Do you love what you do? Do you play to your strengths? Would you like to share your story on Strengths Chat? Drop me an email.

Up, Down or Sideways

Your Weekly Read

November 30, 2011

Up, Down or Sideways
Mark Sanborn
Tyndale House (2011)

I’ve had a quote from Mark Sanborn hanging on my wall since 1999 – “Don’t pee on yourself and blame the other guy.” He had related a story about the time when he was changing the diaper on his infant son and the kid let loose a stream of wee-wee that landed right in his own little face, causing him to burst into tears. Mark used a common occurrence to paint an indelible image that I’ve kept for over 10 years — and I suspect some of what I read in his latest book will do the same.

Cover imageUp, Down or Sideways is a collection of stuff you probably (should) already know. It’s also a collection of stuff you (probably) should do more often. Mark has a knack for communicating common sense ideas in language that spurs me to action. I’ve dog-eared a couple dozen of the book’s 170 pages, and I can’t turn more than two or three pages without seeing margin notes or underlines — most of which are questions to myself about my own activities.

You can read through Up, Down and Sideways on a flight from LAX to ORD (if the guy next to you doesn’t want to chat) but you’ll not be “finished” after just one pass. I suggest having a pen in hand so you can go back and create some action items based on what you’ve written in the margins. (Yes, I actually had a print book for this one.)

One measuring scale I use for books is how well the author creates a catalytic environment for my own ideas. I love books and articles that stimulate me to wander down thoughtful paths I hadn’t considered and Mark does that in this book when he writes about behaviors becoming “second nature.”

In a chapter on barriers that hinder forward momentum, Mark writes:

At this stage, what you know is right takes a higher priority than what you feel. Our culture puts a great deal of emphasis on doing what feels right or what feels good rather than what actually is right and good. There are days when I don’t feel like working out but very few days when I don’t, at a deeper level, still want to do it. Exercise is part of my lifestyle. The same can be true in every area of our lives–with enough discipline, the right thing will eventually become second nature.

And that got me to thinking:

Is the concept of “second nature” a misnomer? We commonly use it to describe an action that occurs without thinking, automatically. So, shouldn’t we actually refer to it as “first nature?”

You can follow Mark Sanborn on Facebook and Twitter.